


House Feud

by Frog_that_writes



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Hogwarts Houses, because incest is bad kids, but not actually, classic character argue which hogwarts house they all are, implied lena/webby, inspired by my fake friends calling me a hufflepuff, lena and webby are honorary ducks, lena is a human person, they're all huge nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 11:39:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15750921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frog_that_writes/pseuds/Frog_that_writes
Summary: The triplets, Webby, and Lena gather to discuss who belongs to which Hogwarts house.





	House Feud

“Webby why are we here again?” Dewey asked from his spot on the girl’s floor, while she rummaged around for a clean notebook. Webby’s room wasn’t of limits or anything, but the triplets normally hung out with her somewhere else in the mansion. And they almost never went in when she was having a “sleepover” with Lena.

“Yeah, not that we don’t want to hang out with you or anything, but don’t you want some alone time with Lena?” The suggestive eyebrow wiggle accompanying Louie’s statement went right over Webby’s head, but Lena at least seemed to get it and punched him in the shoulder, much to Webby’s confusion.

“So you guys know that book series Harry Potter?” Webby asked, finally finding a notebook and plopping down on the floor with them and the snacks.

“Um know it? I practically eat, breathe, drink, and sleep Harry Potter.” Huey said excitedly.

“It’s true.” Dewey attested. “He even dressed up as him for Halloween when we were 7.”

“You say that like you guys weren’t Ron and Hermione.” Huey shout back.

“Okay we’re getting side tracked- Wait, who was Ron and who was Hermione?” Lena asked.

“Not important.” Louie said, totally answering her question. “Can you guys just answer our question? Why are we here?”

“Well, I thought we could sort each other!” Webby announced cheerfully.

“Oh, no need.” Huey said. “We can just take the quiz, it’ll be easier that way.”   
“Please, you can’t trust a few silly questions to know you better than your brothers and best friends. We can sort each other better than some stupid quiz could.” Lena said, rolling her eyes. She wasn’t as diehard of a Harry Potter fan as Webby and the guys, but she had seen the movies and knew enough from Webby’s rants to be able to understand the basics of what was different between the books and the movies. 

“Fine,” Louie sighed. “So how are we going to do this?”

“Well,” Webby started, flipping to a clean page of her notebook and clicking her pen a few times. “I figured we can go around in a circle and say what house we think we are, then make arguments against everybody's claims until we’ve decided on an answer.”

“Cool. I’ll go first, I’m a gryffindor.” Dewey started.

“I’m definitely a ravenclaw.” Huey said.

“Slytherin,” Louie announced boredly, not looking up from his phone.

“Same here.” Lena said.

“And I’m also a gryffindor!” Webby announced, scribbling down everybody's answers. “Okay, so whose house do we think should be different and why?”

“I don’t know Webby, aren’t all of our houses already a pretty good fit? Besides isn’t the whole point that you get to choose your house?” Huey asked.

“Well, yeah you  _ could  _ but isn't it more fun to spill the deepest darkest depths of your soul out for your friends and family, and have them judge and categorize you?” Webby shot back.

“I don’t think anyone but you would call that fun, Webs.” Dewey argued.

“I’ve got one,” Louie offered, apparently getting invested now and putting his phone down. “Lena’s so not a slytherin.”

“What? Yes I am.” She said confused.

“I don’t know, Le, I think you might be,” Webby stopped to whisper dramatically. “ _ A gryffindor. _ ”

“A gryffindor! No way. How could I possibly be one of those idiots?”

“Hey!” Dewey’s indignant shout was ignored by everyone else in favor of looking for ways that Lena was a gryffindor.

“Yeah Lena, I mean you are pretty brave. You throw yourself into danger all the time.” Huey said.

“Only the protect myself or you guys, unlike you adrenaline junkies who purposely go looking for fights.” She argued.

“To protect us, you say?” Louie asked with a smirk.

“Yeah?” Lena said somewhat hesitantly.

“Oh I don’t know,” Dewey said catching on. “That's sounds rather  _ chivalrous _ to me.” Lena made a noise that sounded like a cross between anger, frustration, and denial getting stuck in her throat. 

“I am not a gryffindor!” 

“Come on, Lena join the brave side.” The other girl joked nudging her. 

“Is that a Star Wars reference? I can only keep up with one fandom at once guys!” Huey said. 

“I will admit defeat to being a gryffindor only on the ground that we revisit Louie being a slytherin.”

“What’s there to revisit?” Louie asked. “I’m the evil triplet, I like conning people,  _ and  _ I wear green. Total slytherin.”

“Yeah, no arguments here, Louie’s definitely the most evil one out of all of us.” Dewey said.

“Okay, first of all, let's not even get into the whole slytherins are evil thing, because I’m pretty sure Webby is about to launch into her 20 minute rant now. With an additional 10 minute powerpoint presentation. Secondly, please, we all know the whole ‘evil triplet’ thing is an act. You’re a total softie!” Lena laughed.

“Hey, I completely resent the idea that I could ever be soft.”

“Louie, you cried at a video of a cat playing with string today.” Webby said.

“Shut up!”

“I don’t know guys. “Dewey said, muffling his chuckles. “I think he could be a-”

“Don’t say it.” Louie begged.

“Hufflepuff.”

Louie started at his brother aghast for a moments before standing up and walking towards the door.

“That's it! My family has betrayed me for the last time! I came here to have a good time and I am honestly feeling  _ so  _ attacked right now!”

“Sit down Louie, it’s not that bad.” Huey sighed.

“Oh yeah? Then why did none of us say we were a hufflepuff in the first place?” Louie demanded, flopping back down beside them.

“Because it's so obvious that you have that house, how could we take it from you?” Lena asked with fake confusion.

“Fine, but I think Dewey could be a hufflepuff.” Louie pointed at his brother.

“What. How?”

“I don’t know, you’re caring and stuff. I just don’t want to be alone in yellow here.”   
“That’s literally the most hufflepuff thing I’ve ever heard someone say. Besides, you could wear black.” 

“Shut it, Lena.”

“I do agree though.” Huey said. “Out of all of us Dewey  _ is _ probably the most loyal. You could be a hufflepuff, Dew.”

“Oh, come one. I may be loyal, but I’m way more brave.”

“Your loyalty makes you brave though.” Webby piped up. “You would do anything to protect your family.”

“This is so sweet.” Louie sniffed.

“Yeah, definitely a hufflepuff you two. Okay, how about Webby? Is she going to stay a gryffindor?” Huey asked.

“Well, Webby is brave, definitely enough so that’s it at a gryffindor level. You can also be pretty determined, but I don’t know about chivalrous.” Louie mussed.

“Yeah, I will admit to that one. But I’m not sure where else I would fit?”

“Maybe ravenclaw? You do know a lot about weapons and fighting. Plus you spent all that time studying our family that you practically know more about it than we do.” Dewey suggested.

“Maybe? I’d be fine with being a ravenclaw, though I do think gryffindor is a better fight.”

“No fair, why does Webby get to be moved to a house she stills likes?” Louie whined.

“Hush Llewye-” Huey was cut off by being talked by his brother.

“How about you then, huh Huey?” He asked.

“Oh yeah!” Webby said. “You’re the last one Huey.”

“Well I think it’s obvious ravenclaw is the best choice for me.”

“I don’t know, how about gryffindor?” Lena said, finally enacting her revenge for earlier.

“How could I possibly be a gryffindor?”

“Well, you are pretty brave, and you use your knowledge to help you fight and to be resourceful, not just to gain knowledge like most ravenclaws do.” Louie said.

“Besides, would being a gryffindor be that bad?” Dewey asked. “Harry Potter himself was one, after all.”

“Fine, I’ll fold. Though I still think I’m more of a ravenclaw.”

“That’s fine, this really was just for fun anyways. We can all keep going by the houses we choose for ourselves.” Webby reassured them.

“Except for you Louie. You’re still a hufflepuff.” Lena interrupted the duck who was starting to smile. 

“Oh come on!”

“Now I’m in a Harry Potter mood.” Huey complained. “You guys want to stay up watching all of the movies?”

“Won’t Mr. Donald and granny kill us for staying up all night?”

“You people with guardians are so lame.” Lena complained.

“Hush, you know Scrooge has just about adopted you.” Webby said.

“Maybe it's a good thing he hasn’t officially adopted you two then. Because then your relationship would be in-”

“Who wants more popcorn!” Webby cheered. “If we’re gonna stay up all night we’re gonna need snacks. I’ll go get some!”   
“Webby, wait we have three bowls of popcorn right… here, and she’s gone.” Huey sighed.

“Alright, let’s just get this marathon started.”

* * *

 

Beakley softly opened the door, spotting the five young ducks passed out around each other on the floor next to Webby’s laptop with a knocked over bowl of popcorn  and pillows scattered around them. The sound of The Deathly Hallows and snoring met her ears. She chuckled slightly as she snapped a photo of them. Donald was going to love this. Maybe she’d let them sleep in a little today, just this once.

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can read Lena and Webby as already dating, or in the "we both like each other and everyone knows we like each other but I'm scared to iniate" stage. Either way is fine.  
> I don't really place all of these guys in any specific houses, so these aren't my headcanons, and most of this was just made up for the sake of the argument.  
> Also, my friends called me a Hufflepuff, and my reaction was about the same of Louie's. If it had been the exact same I would have had to rate this mature tho rip.


End file.
